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When a rising number of victims are found brutally murdered one by one at a remote Veteran Hospital off the main land, a rookie detective and her seasoned partner must race against time to find the killer but not everyone is who they appear to be.
I believe the idea itself is solid, (Although I am not sure if this would be police jurisdiction or FBI, that could be an issue) I would personalize it. One of the victims should be someone the lead character knows such as her brother or someone she served with in combat. That one specific death shoRead more
I believe the idea itself is solid, (Although I am not sure if this would be police jurisdiction or FBI, that could be an issue)
I would personalize it.
See lessOne of the victims should be someone the lead character knows such as her brother or someone she served with in combat.
That one specific death should be the inciting incident and that will shorten your set-up.
Because that is the current problem with your logline, there is a lot of set up, which doesn’t leave a lot of room to inform us about story.
Things get hot in a Dead Zone for a ?Bad Bug Collector? after an accidental viral release on a tropical island.
I agree with dpg, ?Also you should give us an bad guy. Here would be an example. ?"When the umbrella corporation accidental releases a deadly virus on a remote tropical island..."
I agree with dpg, ?Also you should give us an bad guy. Here would be an example. ?”When the umbrella corporation accidental releases a deadly virus on a remote tropical island…”
See lessAt the Battle of Pyramids, when Napoleon cannons the face of the Sphinx, its stirred resident demon begins a journey of invisible revenge on his troops one by one until it finds him in his lonely island prison
Name the demon and make it the protagonist possibly "demon name" is awoken by Napoleon's cannons desecrating it's crypt.? go with silently instead of invisible unless it is truly UNSEEN and are you talking about Napoleons exile, I wasn't sure
Name the demon and make it the protagonist possibly “demon name” is awoken by Napoleon’s cannons desecrating it’s crypt.? go with silently instead of invisible unless it is truly UNSEEN and are you talking about Napoleons exile, I wasn’t sure
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