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  1. Posted: September 25, 2015In: Thriller

    A contagious disease that results in spontaneous combustion in 7 days is passed on through simple touch. Will a cure be found before the world population goes up in smoke???

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on September 27, 2015 at 6:09 pm

    Sorry but I couldn't help thinking of this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMM8V2mVvpc

    Sorry but I couldn’t help thinking of this one:

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  2. Posted: September 25, 2015In: Thriller

    Everyone that touches Berry instantly dies a horrible, painful death. Can he get out of the busiest city in the US without killing anyone else?

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on September 27, 2015 at 11:49 am

    No need to mention the main character's name also this logline describes a situation not a plot. What does the MC want? What is his goal? What action will he pursue during act 2 of the film? What is his character flaw? What is his inciting incident? What sets him off on his journey to achieve his goRead more

    No need to mention the main character’s name also this logline describes a situation not a plot.

    What does the MC want? What is his goal? What action will he pursue during act 2 of the film?

    What is his character flaw?

    What is his inciting incident? What sets him off on his journey to achieve his goal?

    Check out this page for logline basics it may help with future re drafts:
    https://loglines.org/howto/

    Hope this helps.

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  3. Posted: September 26, 2015In: Thriller

    The nation?s most experienced bomb disposal expert confronts a well-funded woman with militant Islamic contacts who kills his team one by one and targets him for revenge – because of her life-altering experience as a teenager caught up in the Gulf War.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on September 27, 2015 at 11:12 am

    The mention of a nation with no specifics geographic reference reads as a declaration of an arbitrary country generic in nature and adds little to the plot. However, if the country provides a story critical back drop that provides stakes i.e: USA, Israel or Kuwait for example, then it is worth mentiRead more

    The mention of a nation with no specifics geographic reference reads as a declaration of an arbitrary country generic in nature and adds little to the plot. However, if the country provides a story critical back drop that provides stakes i.e: USA, Israel or Kuwait for example, then it is worth mentioning, other wise best to take this description out and save on words.

    Secondly with no inciting incident and goal the plot is vague. It is clear that the bomb disposal expert will fight the militant but to what end? What specifically does he need to achieve? Further to that why now? What happened that he is made to confront her now? What is the inciting incident?

    Hope this helps.

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