1. Posted: October 9, 2019In:

    Cuando una joven mujer es persuadida por un astuto anarquista, debe luchar con sus juicios morales, mientras le ayuda a perpetuar ataques terroristas.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Please post in English only.

    Please post in English only.

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  2. Posted: October 6, 2019In:

    When her mother dies suddenly and tragically, a distraught daughter must contend with her spiralling grief; but when the cult she has sought support from begins to take over her life, he must she must free herself and her family from their grip before they fall victim to a violent sacrificial ritual.

    Best Answer
    Philippe Le Miere Logliner

    Deconstructing the logline, I get: Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual. A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, GrRead more

    Deconstructing the logline, I get:

    Inciting incident = mother dies suddenly & tragically

    protagonist = distraught daughter suffering grief

    antagonist = cult of violent sacrificial ritual.

    A mother dying suddenly has a wonderful fairytale quality to it (although genre is Thriller). In my view, Grief is not a character trait – it’s an emotion, felt by said character. An example of a character trait might be Withdrawn – which is then the outcome of grief and sadness.

    Think how the logline might personify the villain? Currently the cult feels very anonymous, vague, difficult to imagine.

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  3. Posted: October 5, 2019In:

    When her mother is brutally murdered, a family woman must find out who her mother was, in order to uncover what happened; but when a cult from her mother’s secret past starts to infiltrate her life , she must Mary and her family must escape indoctrination or risk becoming victims themselves.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    What is the backstory here? How far back was the "secret past?" How old was her mother when she left the cult? Did she have her daughter while in the cult? Does the daughter have memories from being in the cult? I am asking because I don't see why the cult would kill the mother 30 years later or morRead more

    What is the backstory here? How far back was the “secret past?” How old was her mother when she left the cult? Did she have her daughter while in the cult? Does the daughter have memories from being in the cult?

    I am asking because I don’t see why the cult would kill the mother 30 years later or more, by the time she has become a grandmother. Why the wait?

    The logline is very long as it is. I suggest:

    “When her mother is brutally murdered, a religious single mum must find the killers, to save her own daughter from sacrifice by an ancient cult.”

    I obviously took some liberties with character traits and details, but we need to see some specifics, so swap them for whatever works for you.

    I put “single mother” instead of “family woman,” because it makes her position even worse, being all alone against the enemy. If you have a plan for her husband to help or impede her, ignore the suggestion.

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