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A housebound vigilante predator catcher has 24 hours to rescue an abducted child before she’s murdered using only the internet and his cell phone.
I like the short length. But something is missing to catch my attention. We must think this is an impossible mission. And with a vigilante predator catcher, the internet and his cell phone…. Well, it doesn’t seem very impossible. What if you change the main character to be a suburban housewife. Or aRead more
I like the short length. But something is missing to catch my attention.
See lessWe must think this is an impossible mission.
And with a vigilante predator catcher, the internet and his cell phone…. Well, it doesn’t seem very impossible.
What if you change the main character to be a suburban housewife.
Or a teenage nerd.
Or a violent boxer who can’t use his physical strength to solve the problem this time…
😉
When a dystopian future threatens humanity, a reluctant hero must embark on a perilous journey through a series of secret dream sequences, guided by an advanced AI, to uncover the key to saving the world
Make it more personal: It is easier to write when you add relations. What relations is this about? Something like: When a highly decorated retired soldier’s daughter (or wife or son or father) is kidnapped by villains who seek to control the world with artificial intelligence - he finally accepts thRead more
Make it more personal:
It is easier to write when you add relations. What relations is this about?
Something like:
See lessWhen a highly decorated retired soldier’s daughter (or wife or son or father) is kidnapped by villains who seek to control the world with artificial intelligence – he finally accepts the invitation (from his hateful general) to go back to war – using a newly invented dream machine powered by AI.
A police officer is forced into a deadly dilemma when an active shooter situation is revealed to be occurring at a nearby high school while a renegade trio of student activists respond by kidnapping and threatening to kill the parents of the shooter in a bid to make him stop his deadly rampage.
A one-location script would be better. As for your logline, it raises a question. If the police officer went to where the active shooter is and shoot them, aren't both scenarios solved? Besides if you have someone actively shooting kids that is where you go. You can send a negotiator to the kidnappiRead more
A one-location script would be better.
As for your logline, it raises a question. If the police officer went to where the active shooter is and shoot them, aren’t both scenarios solved?
Besides if you have someone actively shooting kids that is where you go. You can send a negotiator to the kidnapping but as an officer, you save the children. It doesn’t really seem like a dilemma as written in the logline.
However, that does not mean the story isn’t intriguing. It’s just I am not sure why one officer needs to be in two places at once.
So an interesting idea, but a logline that does raise some questions.
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