1. Posted: April 19, 2019In:

    In 1961, a British double agent is blackmailed with his past crimes by a former colleague, and forced to spy on a suspected Nazi war criminal, now an American jet-setter living on the French Riviera.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Thanks for the loglines, Robb Ross. I'll see what I can do.

    Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Thanks for the loglines, Robb Ross. I’ll see what I can do.

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  2. Posted: April 15, 2019In:

    After a night out drowning her sorrows, a lonely woman wakes up next to a man she just met and discovers they are on his boat in the middle of the ocean and it?s sinking fast.

    Ckharper Samurai

    I can?t envision a thriller based on trying to keep sinking boat afloat. Think titanic. That was actually a love story. If you are still developing this idea how about something like this: ?After a night of indiscretion, a woman wakes up on a boat next to a strange man and that?s not her only probleRead more

    I can?t envision a thriller based on trying to keep sinking boat afloat. Think titanic. That was actually a love story. If you are still developing this idea how about something like this:

    ?After a night of indiscretion, a woman wakes up on a boat next to a strange man and that?s not her only problem. The stranger seems intent on killing her. ?

    Still you have the problem of a whole movie taking place on a boat so not many places to run! Would need to move action aground.

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  3. Posted: April 13, 2019In:

    A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    So now the other guy lives in the FR?At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who's living large inRead more

    So now the other guy lives in the FR?

    At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.

    In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who’s living large in the French Riviera. After… and here is the bulk of the story, no?

    Does something go wrong after he starts spying? Since spying isn’t difficult for him, what is the conflict? What is the purpose of the spying, to capture the antag? The purpose sounds like the real stakes, not the protag’s life.

    Pennance is an example of why we should care about this protag when he worked alongside the Germans.Though can anything make us care enough? We want him to succeed, right? Consider revealing his past near the end of the script, which would mean removing it from the logline. If it is removed, still paint more of the picture and, assuming, contrast between the two.

    Assuming he still feels shame, does he need to be blackmailed into it? Seems he would take on the job because he sees it as a way to redeem some of his past.

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