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As a giant asteroid hurtles toward Earth, an embittered doomsday prepper must choose whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife and her crazy cult friends or risk spending eternity alone.
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wifeOh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It's need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she's on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. ("...whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-Read more
>>>after giving shelter to his runaway wife
Oh, well,? that casts? loglining the plot in a whole new light.? It’s need-to-know info.? The first version gives the impression that she’s on the outside with the cultists trying to get it in. (“…whether to open up his shelter to his runaway ex-wife”)
>>?not realizing she?s a double agent
Setting up the expectation of a? midpoint reveal/reversal/plot twist.? Normally that is not included in a logline.? For the sake of brevity.? In this instance, adding that reversal/twist extends the logline length from 27 words to 34 — which is tolerable.? And it may work as? a story hook –? an element that makes industry folk want to read the script to see how it plays out.
fwiw
See lessA man having an affair takes his mistress out to the woods when they witness two thugs dumping a body the lake.
When a man and his mistress on a week-end tryst witness two thugs dumping a body, they must outrun and outsmart deadly pursuants through a mountainous forest.
When a man and his mistress on a week-end tryst witness two thugs dumping a body, they must outrun and outsmart deadly pursuants through a mountainous forest.
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Meaning to investigate: how can it be stepped up one in the logline? Character quirk? strange circumstances?, ... I smell, this can be upgraded from a show people like to one they love and come back for conventions years later.
Meaning to investigate: how can it be stepped up one in the logline? Character quirk? strange circumstances?, … I smell, this can be upgraded from a show people like to one they love and come back for conventions years later.
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