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  1. Posted: October 13, 2019In: Student Loglines

    A high school dance challenges, socially awkward teen, to ask is jealous best friend for dancing lessons, after being asked out by the most popular girl in school.

    dnunez525 Penpusher
    Added an answer on October 14, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    This sounds like a good Coming-of-Age Drama/Comedy, but like others said before me, make sure it is grammatically perfect. I wasn't even sure the best friend was secretly in love with the MC until I read it from one of the comments on here.

    This sounds like a good Coming-of-Age Drama/Comedy, but like others said before me, make sure it is grammatically perfect. I wasn’t even sure the best friend was secretly in love with the MC until I read it from one of the comments on here.

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  2. Posted: October 14, 2019In: Student Loglines

    When he discovers an abandoned project car, a former street racer , and young father must use the car to help his invert daughter get over her first breakup .

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 14, 2019 at 6:33 am

    I, too, don't see how the car has anything to do with the girl's romantic problems.And I see another problem. Who owns the plot?? The father or the daughter?? Who is the protagonist?? As written the logline makes the father responsible for making the daughter feel better.But that doesn't make senseRead more

    I, too, don’t see how the car has anything to do with the girl’s romantic problems.

    And I see another problem. Who owns the plot?? The father or the daughter?? Who is the protagonist?? As written the logline makes the father responsible for making the daughter feel better.

    But that doesn’t make sense psychologically or practically.? Ultimately, it’s up to the daughter to make herself feel better.? Only she can do the heavy lifting, the emotional dirty work required to grow past her romantic failure. The father can’t do that for her.? And he can’t do it to her: he can’t bully, bribe or B.S. her into making the authentic quantum leap in emotional maturity she needs to get past the problem and go forward in her life.? She must take ownership of the problem and work out her own solution in spite of — not because of — her father’s well-meaning intentions.

    (And “lesbian” is preferred to? “invert”? The latter term was the euphemistic and pejorative term used in the bad old days when sexual preferences for someone of the same sex was defined as deviant, abnormal.)

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  3. Posted: September 6, 2019In: Student Loglines

    When a power-hungry villain begins stealing electricity, A young man with electric superpowers must learn to accept the balance of good and evil within himself before humanity is sent back to the Dark Ages.

    Phranque Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 7, 2019 at 6:37 am

    I guess what everyone is wondering is whether the hero?s search for balance is the central conflict of the story, or is it defeating the villain? I?d honestly enjoy either story, but it could be clearer.

    I guess what everyone is wondering is whether the hero?s search for balance is the central conflict of the story, or is it defeating the villain? I?d honestly enjoy either story, but it could be clearer.

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