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A troubled Chicago banker who struggles to get by every day due to his traumatic past steals little amount of money from the people who tormented him when he was younger, but seeing his own wealth grow he starts to steal from others.
This sounds messy. What is the inciting incident? Where does the story start? Why now? Why would we be interested or even like this stealing banker? Because he was bullied in the past? This stealing, how long is it going on for?? Then, is he just going to continue doing his banking business? It is oRead more
This sounds messy.
What is the inciting incident? Where does the story start? Why now?
Why would we be interested or even like this stealing banker? Because he was bullied in the past?
This stealing, how long is it going on for?? Then, is he just going to continue doing his banking business? It is open-ended and not particularly interesting.
It sounds like not just the logline leaves room for improvement, the story itself is not focused.
Back to the drawing board!
See lessWhen an ex-horseman makes a deal with satan, a diverse army of supernatural beings are summoned into the realm and The Four Horsemen are called to take them down.
When an ex-horseman (Loki) makes a deal with Satan (leader of Chitauri), a diverse army of supernatural beings (The Chitauri) are summoned into the realm (Earth) and The Four Horseman (The Avengers) are called to take them down.
When an ex-horseman (Loki) makes a deal with Satan (leader of Chitauri), a diverse army of supernatural beings (The Chitauri) are summoned into the realm (Earth) and The Four Horseman (The Avengers) are called to take them down.
See lessBarack Obama is a powerful president by day and crimefighting superhero by night and when presented with the opportunity to change he must decide whether it will be for good or evil.
A more concrete goal should be established.
A more concrete goal should be established.
See less