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cesare88Logliner
Posted: February 12, 20182018-02-12T02:07:58+10:00 2018-02-12T02:07:58+10:00In: Horror

1969. While a family ‘s listening to the television that says the words: One small step for a man one giant leap for mankind, a misterious figure in a space suit steps in their house to tell them the truth about the moon landing.

1969. While a family ‘s listening to the television that says the words: One small step for a man one giant leap for mankind, a misterious figure in a space suit steps in their house to tell them the truth about the moon landing.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2018-02-12T02:17:40+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2018 at 2:17 am

      The logline sets up a situation, an inciting incident for a plot.? But it is incomplete.? It needs to tag a specific protagonist, a lead character.? And it needs to equip him with an objective goal.? So:

      Who is the protagonist?

      As a result of this event, what becomes his objective goal?? What MUST he do about this epiphany?

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    2. cesare88 Logliner
      2018-02-12T03:32:21+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2018 at 3:32 am

      Thanks for the tips

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    3. Richiev Singularity
      2018-02-12T10:33:37+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2018 at 10:33 am

      I agree with dpg, he makes some very good points.

      Along with what he said, why is this news important to the lead character? (And why would the lead character even believe it)
      What I mean is, I have friends who have told me that the moon landing was fake, I shrug my shoulders and move on. (I’m not really big on conspiracy?theories)
      There was even a movie that about a ‘fake’ moon landing.
      So why is this news life changing to the lead character?

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2018-02-12T18:11:08+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2018 at 6:11 pm

      Agreed with DPG and Richiev.

      Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information about basic logline construction.

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    5. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2018-02-13T00:56:35+10:00Added an answer on February 13, 2018 at 12:56 am

      Agreed. Solid stories tell interesting stuff about characters surrounded by the fun and games. Focus on them and then the hook and take it as far as needed so that the potential audience wants to know more.

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