The Palace Wedding
1999. Reception lounges are dying. After six years banishment, a CBD event manager reluctantly returns to work in The Palace, his old man?s Greek reception lounge in the suburbs, on their biggest wedding ever, and he will save his family from financial ruin and shame? If his father will just let him.
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1st – its very long.
2nd- it is not cathcy
3rd – to vague (what is a CBD?)
Stick w/ the formula” a reluctant events manager is forced to work at his dad’s business in order to save up money to save the family home”. That’s the basic- now add some pizzaz: ” A dyslexic family man is forced to work as an accountant at his dad’s fledging business in order to save his family home- trouble is the mortgage company have already given them 30 days to vacate!”
I’ve no idea what your story is really about from your log-line so I’m shooting in the dark here!
Agree on all points with alexmoreno; in fact I couldn’t quite put my finger on what wasn’t working until I read his response!
We know more about reception lounges then the PROTAG
Congrats Tammie, you posted the 5,000th review on this site!
Now on the logline:
The reception lounge has nothing to do with the heart of this story (according to the rest of the logline), so just cut any mention of it.
Also cut the mention of the CBD, it is irrelevant – and confusing as appears above. Alex, it means “Central Business District”
This story is about an event manager who must save his family from financial ruin and shame but we need to have an idea HOW. What is this movie going to look like? Is it a thriller where the event manager has to take on the crooks in the business? Or – more likely – a drama? And then how do you make this story interesting?
You indicate there is conflict between the event manager and his father but why? Is the father conservative and against modern business practices? Still, I fail to see any cinematic angle here.
Updated:
A playboy event manager must swallow a six year feud with his father and work alongside him in the old man?s outdated Greek reception lounge, on their biggest wedding ever, to save his family from financial ruin and shame? If his father will let him.
Any further comment is much appreciated!
In contemporary Greece, a playboy son and a stubborn father must put aside their longstanding feud to save their family from financial ruin and shame.