Penpusher
Posted: 2016-04-06T10:19:29+10:00 In:

A 30-something man is frustrated with his life and family and seems unable to make sense of it all until he meets a lady that wants to end it all.

Starbuck

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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Meeting the lady sounds like the event that inspires the lead to action. I would begin your logline with that and then tell us what the lead character must do upon meeting the suicidal woman.

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    2. Uberwriter

      I can see that this can have plenty of dramatic opportunities, but I don’t know which one you are going to use.

      1) Does her death or attempted suicide make him appreciate his life
      2) Does helping her trigger something in him and he leaves his family to be with her, saving himself and her.
      2a) Does he start an affair which makes him realise that he has it good at home.
      3) Does he look at her problems and see that he is the problem and not his family.

      What is the story in what you have set up as a good universe.

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    3. Singularity

      Agreed with the above comments, this logline lacks a goal and therefore doesn’t convey a plot – the primary intention of a logline.

      Secondly general descriptions such as “…30 something man…” should not be used in a logline, as they are too general and lack detail. It is therefore hard to understand who the MC is, what he does in life and to that matter how he would handle the situation in your story.

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