Logliner
Posted: 2018-10-08T00:38:36+10:00 In:

A straight laced police detective must track down a serial killer brutally murdering children’s TV presenters.

A straight laced police detective must track down a serial killer brutally murdering children’s TV presenters.
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    5 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Fired by who? Who hired the detective to track down the serial killer? Or are you talking about a police detective?? {After Edit: *Thanks for the clarification*}

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    2. Singularity

      Sounds interesting!

      What?s the inciting incident? What is the event that sets this story in motion. Something like ?when a children?s tv presenter turns up dead with a message carved into their flesh…? would do the job.

      Why this detective? How is the case personal to him? It doesn?t have to start out as personal but it needs to get there at some point. Most serial killer films raise the stakes this way.

      How does the ?straight-laced? characteristic come into play? Is there a partner?

      For me, I like the idea but I?m not getting a hook. There?s nothing that excites me yet. What sets this apart? What makes this better than the other serial killer films? I feel like we need to understand the killer?s motives more to understand why the fact he?s killing kid?s tv presenters is more interesting than killing anyone else.

      I hope that makes sense and helps in some way.

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    3. Uberwriter

      This will sounds a little harsh. But you have described a cops job. It seems a bit straight forward. Slight twist, TV presenters. But that makes the cops job easier, a really small victim pool.

      Tell us what makes this special.

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    4. Samurai

      I agree with Mike. We need to see some kind of ironic connection between the detective’s characterisation/personality and the killer’s choice of victims. For example, in the Silence of the Lambs, you can’t miss the theme of a tiny woman trying to fit into a men’s world (FBI) vs. a huge man trying to fit into a woman’s skin.

      So I will also ask:

      • why straight-laced?
      • why TV-presenters?

      Fix this one and you have a much stronger concept in your hands.

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    5. Logliner

      What makes the cop stand out? Does he/she change during the course of the investigation to become less so?? Does being straight laced affect the investigation? What does this trait bring to the table?

      Cheers!

      Craig

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