Penpusher
Posted: 2016-01-20T06:58:04+10:00 In:

A boy fights for survival during the 872 day siege of Leningrad.

A boy fights for survival during the 872 day siege of Leningrad.
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    7 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      I rewrote it. You can read if you view my profile.

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    2. Singularity

      Brevity and simplicity are the essence of a good logline, unlike most writers you’ve certainly employed both in this first logline draft. Now pick and choose the specific detail, asked for in the above comments, that will make this a compelling story and subsequently a strong concept.

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    3. Uberwriter

      There is a movie with Gabriel Byrne set during this event. ?It is about a female journo trying to save two children from starvation. ?This what we need here. A goal stated or some background.

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    4. Logliner

      An den?
      A great setting, now I’d love some action.

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    5. I think this has been stressed but it is important to add what makes this character special? Why is HE your protagonist and not someone else? Is he disabled? An orphan? Other than that I like your simplicity great jobs

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    6. Singularity

      This? seems to be a “war is hell’ story?as seen through the pov of a young boy.? It?is based upon a real event, no doubt, about that, but is it based upon a real person?? As was “Enemy at the Gates” (2001)?based upon the siege of Stalingrad AND specifically on the heroism of a real person, a?Russian sniper by the name of?Vassili Zaitsev?

      As was the movie?”Empire of the Sun” (1987), based upon?a real?person, the?experience of? J.G.?Ballard??as a??young English boy struggling to survive the Japanese occupation of China?during World War II?

      As was the movie “Europa, Europa” (1990), based upon a real person,? Solomon Perel, a Jewish teenager who survived by?passing himself off as an Aryan.

      The character and his predicament needs to be more specific.? And it would?strengthen the concept for it ?to be based upon real people. Truth is stranger– and more interesting –than fiction and nowhere is that more so than? stories of heroism and survival in times of war.

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    7. Uberwriter

      Hundreds of people did. What makes this great, give it some flavour.

      How does he do it?
      Does he have help?
      Is his age a factor, 5 is different to 15?

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