Penpusher
Posted: 2019-02-25T11:59:58+10:00 In:

A boy shaman begins training and must battle for his life with the vengeful Uncle who murdered his father.

A boy shaman begins training and must battle for his life with the vengeful Uncle who murdered his father.
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    1. Singularity

      Why must he battle for his life? The inciting incident ?seems to be his uncle murdering his father but his goal is seemingly just to battle for his life NOT seek retribution. It’s a passive goal and a protagonist should be proactive. When you say “boy” how old are we talking here? 4 or 14? Boy is a very loose term so I would consider being a bit more specific. Why is he a shaman? At the moment, if you remove that word the logline remains the same so why is it there?

      What are the uncle’s motives? There’s a bit of a Hamlet thing going on here – is that intentional? The uncle’s motives need to be understandable even if the audience doesn’t approve – he can’t just be killing the father and trying to kill the son for the sake of it.

      Ultimately, I think we need a bit more story here to understand what’s actually going on.

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