Penpusher
Posted: 2018-04-25T20:09:55+10:00 In:

A burnt-out detective has to face his past when offered the job of finding two missing kids in a small-town full of lies.

A burnt-out detective has to face his past when offered the job of finding two missing kids in a small-town full of lies.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      A logline is about what a protagonist must do facing forward in time.? What his objective goal is looking towards the future.? A logline is not about unresolved issues from his past.

      Certainly in the process of moving forward, a protagonist may have to face issues from his past.? And such issues can enrichen the script proper.? But a logline is about the intended objective goal going forward (cause), not about issues that come up unintentionally from the past (effect).

      A logline is about intentionality, about intended actions,? not unintended consequences.? The burnt-out detective does not intentionally, deliberately, willfully seek to face issues from his past.? That is not what he originally wants to do, that is not his original objective goal.? ?What he wants to do, what constitutes his conscious intention is to find the missing kids.? ?Having to deal with his past comes as an unwelcome, unsought after surprise.

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    2. Best Answer
      Samurai

      This sounds good to me in concept, too! Have you got a couple more details to sharpen it up with? See variable?s feedback.

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    3. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      It’s clear to me that he’s burnt out from his past (due dead kids of his own) and a small town full of lies…reminds me of something like “get out” (2017)
      either
      his past needs to be spelled out in the logline, something like “a grieving father” maybe.. ( google “vilomah” )
      Or
      drop it out entirely!

      This film has the capacity for a big heart
      BUT IT NEEDS CLARITY

      You need something more tangible than “a small town full of lies” So something like…

      “When two kids go missing, a burnt out detective realizes their entire town is hiding something”

      good luck eeveetr

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