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Jay_BirdPenpusher
Posted: July 1, 20212021-07-01T07:41:34+10:00 2021-07-01T07:41:34+10:00In: Comedy

A career driven wife unwittingly convinces her husband to join her in a tiny trailer cross country adventure, with the secret hopes of avoiding her disastrous financial missteps and saving their delicate marriage.

 

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    2 Reviews

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    1. Karel Segers Samurai
      2021-07-04T09:56:41+10:00Added an answer on July 4, 2021 at 9:56 am

      First of all, get rid of some adjectives: unwittingly, secret, disastrous, delicate… This is just too much. Some don’t make sense, either.
      Next, it seems like the story’s main action is ‘convincing’. Or is the story what happens AFTER this?
      If the film is about the cross country adventure (which I hope it is), we need to get a better feel for what will be the main obstacle/conflict there, and what it is that they need to achieve. Perhaps they must work together as a team to survive the adventure, after something happens that raises the stakes to life-death level.

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      • Jay_Bird Penpusher
        2021-07-21T01:12:48+10:00Replied to answer on July 21, 2021 at 1:12 am

        Thank you Karel! This gives me a new perspective and a better base line to work with. I appreciate it!

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