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SG2210Logliner
A crisis manager by day and citizen journalist by night is recruited by a vigilante mob to expose the corporation he is paid to protect.
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I’m assuming corporate ethics (conflict of interest concerns) go out the window with this one, and he ends up using his access as a way in.? The vigilante mob probably has at least a mostly just cause, so, assuming the part time journalist decides to go along with it, he’s going to have a very easy time of it, without much risk, let alone required skill.? I think while you’re trying to use this “conflict of interest” as the conflict of your movie, being actually employed by the corporation hurts more than helps.
Also, I wish there was something in there that gave me a sense of why the corporation is bad, or at least why the mob thinks it is.
“When he’s recruited by a vigilante mob to expose the very corporation he’s paid to protect, a crisis manager, by day journalist by night must…” then tell us when the lead character must do.
A journalist follows a lead from a credible source that claims his father?s corporation has been illegally erasing people?s memories.
So does this imply that by bringing down the corporation, he will lose everything as well? Does he not want to get his father in trouble? Is this the dilemma – dilemmas always make it stronger which was a good diea.
I also think that source has to have value for this journalist to listen to them. Are they the mother/partner/ disgruntled ex-employee trying to get revenge /resolution /answers?? I think there has to be an incident – a death, a disappearance, something that prompts someone to seek help to get answers or bring down the company? Why this journalist? Do they know it’s the sone of corporation owner?
Somet thoughts to add to the detailed assistance above.
Considering all of your super-detailed and incredibly welcome feedback, I’ve decided to give this concept one final push, after revising for a considerable period of time these past days. Special huge thank you to Mr. Danzig for his continued detailed feedback with all of my logline drafts. I have posted my logline as a 5th revision, and I look forward to your feedback as always, but I have a gut feeling this is the last revision and the one I will actively pursue as my next project. Thanks to all of you and this wonderful website again.