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Francis_BibeauLogliner
Posted: July 21, 20172017-07-21T10:26:38+10:00 2017-07-21T10:26:38+10:00In: Comedy

A desperate Mexican single mother, looking to win back custody of her son living in America, kidnaps a US border guard and uses him as a coyote, unaware that her hostage is the Homeland security secretary?s nephew.

A desperate Mexican single mother, looking to win back custody of her son living in America, kidnaps a US border guard and uses him as a coyote, unaware that her hostage is the Homeland security secretary?s nephew.
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    5 Reviews

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    1. Erica Samurai
      2017-07-21T12:11:23+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 12:11 pm

      One of the things a movie has to do is pull you into the world in which they exist.? I’m having a hard time understanding how any of this would work. ? How does kidnapping a US Border guard win back custody of her son?? Wouldn’t the Border guard just say something?? You would need leverage over the border guard.? I like the irony in using a Border guard to smuggle drugs, but right now the logline is too confusing with details. ? I don’t know how this story could play out the way it’s currently written.

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    2. Dkpough1 Uberwriter
      2017-07-21T12:17:34+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 12:17 pm

      This logline sets up a situation. What specific event causes her to try to get her son back? As a result of the inciting incident, she decides she needs to get son back now. Also, how exactly does she plan to her son back?

      The last part of the logline doesn’t need to be there. It’s a reveal during the story that isn’t important for the logline. Otherwise, the post presents an interesting concept. The logline just needs a few changes.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2017-07-21T12:56:18+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      While the concept strains credibility, it’s being played for comedy, not drama. ?Maybe it will work.

      The devil — and comedy — is in the details. ?I assume you’ve done you’re homework.

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2017-07-21T15:24:24+10:00Added an answer on July 21, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      “When her Ex kidnaps their son and takes him to America, a desperate Mexican mother forces a boarder patrol agent to sneak her across the boarder, unaware the man’s father is the head of homeland security.”

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    5. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-07-25T15:38:33+10:00Added an answer on July 25, 2017 at 3:38 pm

      The MC comes across as farcical (good for comedy) but also insane to think this plan would work (might also be good for comedy, can’t say). Ultimately, the suspension of disbelief is going to be the biggest problem. If this is an Austin Powers style OTT ‘anything goes’ comedy, then sure any plan will do, but if this is meant to be a more gritty/reality based comedy I doubt the plan will work.

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