In my schema of logline elements, this one is the most important. ?All the other elements hang on the hook. And the purpose of the other elements is to make the hook irresistible to a logline reader, to make want to bite, to read the script.

Your hook seems to be a “mystical secret”.? But that’s vague, too vague. It needs to be more specific.

I don’t mean it has to be totally spelled out in a logline because there’s not enough space and because a logline shouldn’t contain spoilers.? But it needs to be specific enough to be compelling hook guaranteed to grab reader and viewer attention. ?Right now, it’s a bare hook in want of a sufficient supply of enticing bait.

And the enticing bait should come from the other required elements. Like:

Well, cutting through all the psychobabble about the character arc, it comes down to this: the purpose of character flaw is to make it more difficult for the protagonist to succeed. Which creates dramatic tension. ?Which is prime bait for the hook.

Is there a clear cause-and-effect link between the inciting incident and the objective goal?

Obviously, yes. ?

I suggest reworking the logline (which may entail reworking the plot) to add the missing bait to your hook and spice up entire “bait package”.

Fwiw, my 2.5 cents worth. Hope it helps.