A disavowed scoutmaster visits a friend in Lebanon, and ends up leading a fledgling group of boys on a mission to save ancient relics from advancing terrorists.

The logline sets up a situation for the protagonist (“…visits a friend in Lebanon”). And it sends him on an objective goal (“…a mission to save ancient relics …”)

But it lacks a crucial logline element: ?an inciting incident. ?What is the event that triggers the action? ?How does he “end up” ?going on the mission?

And what are the stakes? Given that that region is strewn with ancient relics, what makes these relics so important that he would risk his life and the lives of a troop of boys?

And given that the genre is “Coming of Age” shouldn’t the logline be framed with a boy as the protagonist, not the scoutmaster? ?By definition a “Coming of Age” story is owned by a young character, not an adult.