Logliner
Posted: 2017-09-04T23:46:24+10:00 In:

A disillusioned crusader returns home to find wife in danger of losing her soul.

A disillusioned crusader returns home to find wife in danger of losing her soul.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      >>>in danger of losing her soul.

      Film is a visual medium. ?Which means that every element in a logline should invoke a visual image in the mind’s eye of a logline reader. What’s the visual for “in danger of losing her soul”? ?What is the image that dramatizes to the audience, that shows her soul in immortal peril?

      And how does his being disillusioned relate to her dramatic problem?

      And as a consequence of her predicament, what becomes his objective goal? ?What must he specifically do?

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    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      What does, “…in danger of losing her soul,” mean?

      Has she become a back slider?
      Is some evil being after her?
      is she listening to Pat Boone records instead of Aretha Franklin?

      Here would be an example of a logline with specifics: Yours would be different of course.
      —–
      “When he comes home do discover his wife has made a deal with the devil for his safe return, a disillusioned crusader must win three combat challenges against Satan’s?champions to win back her soul”

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    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Agreed with Richiev and DPG.

      What starts him off on his journey – What event makes him realise that the wife’s soul is in danger? Then, as a result of that, what must he do to save her?

      These are the most important bits of information your logline needs to communicate, but as it is now, they are glossed over with no detail.

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