A drug addicted private investigator must partner up with an android detective to solve?the mystery of how and why his sister induced an AI to murder her.
CMathiasLogliner
A drug addicted private investigator must partner up with an android detective to solve?the mystery of how and why his sister induced an AI to murder her.
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I like the android detective part.?That’s pretty much it. I’m not interested in watching yet another drug-addled human do anything and I’m not sci-fy-ie enough to wonder how she induced an AI to murder her so that would go right past me. But I liked Data and if your android had some emotional conflict or could demonstrate frustration with how illogical the situation is, then I’d give it a go. I know it’s wrong to give an android top billing, but if it was mentioned first, I’d be more interested. Just me.
My initial response to the drug-addiction as a character flaw was likewise lukewarm. ?It seemed to me to be a too-easy choice, an all-purpose, go-to character flaw.
However, the more the logline has simmered in the back burner of my mind –a good sign, btw, that the logline has planted a hook in my mind — the more I have come I around to the notion that ?it could be leveraged to great effect. ?Specifically, to establish contrast and conflict between a carbon-based consciousness — humans — and a silicon-based consciousness, androids. ? To wit, build an “Odd Couple” relationship between the two.
What is entailed in drug addiction? ?Altered consciousness, ?bipolar mood swings — soaring highs alternating with plunging lows. ?From an android’s point of view those cognitive and affective states are mystifying, illogical, absurd, counterproductive. ? Humans are hopelessly “buggy”. ?And yet… and yet.. the android is willing to, ?needs to, partner up with this defective human consciousness to solve the murder.
Complications and comic relief ensue.
fwiw.
The only problem I have with the drug addiction part is that it seems to serve no purpose in this logline. Yes, it is a character flaw, but it is not connected to what this logline describes. Of course it can be implied that it will cause problems during the case, but it just seems kind of thrown in the logline. I do agree with dpg that the addiction could serve the story well, but is it essential to the logline?
Thanks all for your honest feedback; I see that the drug addiction part is maybe a bit too much “used-up” and could be a potential turn-off because it’s too obvious an attribute for a PI.
The purpose of the attribute for the PI is to suggest conflict between him and the android right there in the logline, and also hint at the theme. I’ll try and find something different, like “manic-depressive”; might take me some time to make up my mind. But I think I need this suggestion of conflict as a “hook” (see dpg’s comments 🙂
In any case, I think it’s mostly nailed down now and I can now start with the story proper 🙂
EDIT: After thinking it over, I’ve decided to keep the “drug addiction” in the logline. I think it adds some spice, and since it’s a contentious point with you dear reviewers, I’d rather have people love it or hate it than everybody being lukewarm.
Let’s start cracking!