A drunken night leaves a young man to decipher his feelings for his best friend before their time together runs out.
graciemlynchPenpusher
A drunken night leaves a young man to decipher his feelings for his best friend before their time together runs out.
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Most loglines hint at what the inciting incident is and who the enemy is, but this doesn’t seem to have that. Unless time is their enemy, but I’m wondering why their time together is running out? Is the best friend going away? Dying? I think that would help.
Is there a better descriptor besides young man? And for that matter best friend? Is there a sense of irony? Is he wild and she’s tame or vice versa?
It sounds like a fun romance, but besides working out their feelings, is there something else they do on this night? Are they going to White Castle? Kidding, but really, it would help to hint what makes this different from other “it happened one night” stories. And you have room for more detail as this is a very sparse logline.
I hope my comments help.
Thank you for your advice! I’ve tried to clean it up a bit and add more context at the same time without making it too complicated, let me know what you think!
A drunken moment alone during a party leaves two young men to decipher their pent up feelings for each other before one moves away to college the next morning.
I think my issue with this new logline is probably that it doesn’t state whose perspective it is from but I hope the newer version at least supplies more context 🙂