A Facebook friend request, changes the life of a man undergoing mid life crisis, as he discovers, his former best friend, is a hitman.

“A Facebook friend request, changes the life of a man undergoing mid life crisis, as he discovers, his former best friend, is a hitman.”

This is not a logline. It seems more like a list of events which occur in a story. Please read the formula tab at the top of the page, and through other people’s loglines and especially the feedback they receive. It would also help if you attempt to review other people’s loglines yourself to better understand the structure.

For a revision, please consider these elements:
Inciting incident ? what is the single event which upturns the protagonist?s life and forces them to pursue their goal? (For example, in ?Star Wars? this would be when Luke Skywalker?s aunt and uncle are killed by Stormtroopers.)

Protagonist ? No need to include a name in the logline unless it is a historical character or pre-established character. Consider describing the character with a trait or condition, possibly something which implies a character flaw. (Example:? a stubborn politician).

Goal ? what?must?the main character accomplish, what does the inciting incident make the protagonist have to do? This drives the main conflict. (Example: In ?Star Wars?, Luke Skywalker must help the Rebellion destroy the Death Star.)

Keeping all of those components in mind, what is the hook of your story? What makes it unique or interesting? What aspect is going to get someone?s attention and make them what to read a script?

“But the inciting incident is the Facebook request. It is this request that will change the rest of the remaining life of the protagonist.”

Okay. The logline fails to describe it as an inciting incident which?forces the protagonist to pursue his goal.
The logline brings up the question of why a hit man would have that information on his Facebook page. The logline also describes no goal.
I like Richiev’s suggestion.
What is the main conflict of the story?