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RichWLogliner
Posted: February 1, 20162016-02-01T05:10:28+10:00 2016-02-01T05:10:28+10:00In: Thriller

A fledgling detective pursues a serial killer and is faced with panic attacks when she gets too close.

A fledgling detective pursues a serial killer and is faced with panic attacks when she gets too close.
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    1. lightacandle Penpusher
      2016-02-09T06:01:29+10:00Added an answer on February 9, 2016 at 6:01 am

      An interesting concept! Firstly, the she in the latter half of the sentence is referring to the serial killer grammatically, not sure if that’s what you intended? I would like to know more about the story and conflict, I understand the detective has a man vs himself conflict developing with her struggle to overcome her panic, and the man vs man conflict with the serial killer is also there, but maybe what’s bothering me is that your detective doesn’t sound active enough? Perhaps changing “faced with” to “struggles to overcome” might give her more agency. Something to consider.

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