Samurai
Posted: 2019-04-19T18:07:15+10:00 In:

A former drug-dealer, fresh from prison, must help his best friend, an unstable war veteran, pay back a murderous mob boss, during the week of the N.Y. Blackout of ?77.

A former drug-dealer, fresh from prison, must help his best friend, an unstable war veteran, pay back a murderous mob boss, during the week of the N.Y. Blackout of ?77.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      The action of pay back is coming up with that kind of money, right? How the blackout is stopping them from paying back the mob boss is?where your story is. You need to be more specific on this detail.

      Is being his best friend enough to make him ‘must help him..’ or else?? What are the stakes? the boss won’t harm him when payment isn’t done. Therefore the urgency needs to be more personal (Otherwise, everyone gets what they deserve, including his best friend, & so what)

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    2. Singularity

      As variable said.? And it ratches up dramatic tension if there was a ticking clock, a short deadline (say no more than 3 days)

      I can understand how the NYC Blackout of 1977 would be a complication and an interesting one.? However, I don’t see how it fits into the logline unless the Blackout occurs at start of Act 2 just when they’re beginning to execute their plan (and what is it, btw?) to get the money.

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    3. Samurai

      Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

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