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henbSamurai
A generous, funny, and charming young man now has thousands of clones who all act like him, except they have orders from their creators to bring terror to those they ensnare in a romantic relationship.
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So what is the generous, funny, and charming young man going to do about it? To me this is just the inciting incident. What happens next?
When an affable young man is cloned thousands of times, their creators bring terror to those they entrap romantically.
– Carved down to its essence.
Inciting incident – his cloning.
This needs a “And” or a “But”.
“And now he has to stop them” or something.
We need stakes too… Perhaps affable young man is getting married? Perhaps he discovers he’s been unknowingly cloned?
He wakes up one morning and sees several clones walking around. – that would be a good opening hook.
“That guy looks exactly like me?… That guy too… What the hell?”
Young part aside I imagined Paul Rudd in the lead. Don’t know why.
Next try…
A man clones himself in order to fund his wedding, however, the clones begin to terrorise those they ensnare romantically – including his fiancee.
I got rid of the affable and young parts. Not really needed. He can be young in the screenplay.
It might be a good idea to have the lead character in your logline.