Judge Tommi
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As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judge can be made credible, or at least set up in such a way as to suspend disbelief, then I think it’s a promising premise.
My principal concern about this logline is that it only presents an initial situation (A woman judge in the old west) and an inciting incident (her outlaw aunt comes to town). It lacks a plot: how, exactly, does the arrival of her wayward aunt complicate her job as judge? What specific problem and threat does it pose that the judge must respond to? What becomes her objective goal?
And what are the stakes? That is, what does she stand to lose if she fails; what does she stand to gain if she succeeds?
As one who grew up in the West and is somewhat steeped in its lore (even about women folk), I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society. (Were there any in the historical time and place in which the story is set?) But if the dramatic case for a woman judge can be made credible, or at least set up in such a way as to suspend disbelief, then I think it’s a promising premise.
My principal concern about this logline is that it only presents an initial situation (A woman judge in the old west) and an inciting incident (her outlaw aunt comes to town). It lacks a plot: how, exactly, does the arrival of her wayward aunt complicate her job as judge? What specific problem and threat does it pose that the judge must respond to? What becomes her objective goal?
And what are the stakes? That is, what does she stand to lose if she fails; what does she stand to gain if she succeeds?
“I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society.”
Perhaps introduce a backstory of how the judges in this one particular town have been so for the past however many generations – “my daddy was a judge, my grandpappy before him and his pappy before that” (excuse my somewhat offensive attempt at old west vernacular) and the first boy in each generation was trained at a certain age to takeover as judge, but her father only had the girl and everybody agreed that tradition was important or whatever, so they continued with it despite that one hiccup.
Something that might fit into the “world” of the story.
I mean, Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman went for six seasons, so as long as you can make it work, you’re golden…
“I am somewhat dubious about the premise of a woman judge in such a sexist era and society.”
Perhaps introduce a backstory of how the judges in this one particular town have been so for the past however many generations – “my daddy was a judge, my grandpappy before him and his pappy before that” (excuse my somewhat offensive attempt at old west vernacular) and the first boy in each generation was trained at a certain age to takeover as judge, but her father only had the girl and everybody agreed that tradition was important or whatever, so they continued with it despite that one hiccup.
Something that might fit into the “world” of the story.
I mean, Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman went for six seasons, so as long as you can make it work, you’re golden…
What does she want to achieve and what is preventing her from doing it? Or even what does she believe and what challenges her belief. Just saying “Judge” does not mean lawful in the Old West. Look at “Judge Roy Bean” (great movie) a highly corrupt Judge (self appointed).
You can leave questions unanswered in a tag line, that is marketing and needs to raise questions.
Your logline should give the reader information and raise the question “How did you resolve that conflict”, not “I wonder what the conflict may be”.
I hope that helps.
What does she want to achieve and what is preventing her from doing it? Or even what does she believe and what challenges her belief. Just saying “Judge” does not mean lawful in the Old West. Look at “Judge Roy Bean” (great movie) a highly corrupt Judge (self appointed).
You can leave questions unanswered in a tag line, that is marketing and needs to raise questions.
Your logline should give the reader information and raise the question “How did you resolve that conflict”, not “I wonder what the conflict may be”.
I hope that helps.
A person can choose to be a lawyer (or a doctor), but in the US you can’t chose to be a judge just because you want to or because it’s family tradition. Judgeships are elected positions or political appointments.
There was the Judge Roy Bean scenario, outposts of civilization where one man acquired the position of judge (and sometimes sheriff, too) by brute force and intimidating reputation. But that was the exception, not the rule, an exception it is difficult to conceive a woman having the “cojones” –literally and figuratively — to pull off.
A person can choose to be a lawyer (or a doctor), but in the US you can’t chose to be a judge just because you want to or because it’s family tradition. Judgeships are elected positions or political appointments.
There was the Judge Roy Bean scenario, outposts of civilization where one man acquired the position of judge (and sometimes sheriff, too) by brute force and intimidating reputation. But that was the exception, not the rule, an exception it is difficult to conceive a woman having the “cojones” –literally and figuratively — to pull off.
Like I said, make it work in the world of the story, maybe it’s a very small town, perhaps it’s very isolated, perhaps they’re a micronation… as long as the world’s rules are set up in the beginning, it no longer matters what the situation is in the “real” world. This is the wonderful thing about writing, there are no rules until you make them.
Like I said, make it work in the world of the story, maybe it’s a very small town, perhaps it’s very isolated, perhaps they’re a micronation… as long as the world’s rules are set up in the beginning, it no longer matters what the situation is in the “real” world. This is the wonderful thing about writing, there are no rules until you make them.