(28 words)
The Departed
(2006)
dpgSingularity
A good cop working as a mole to bring down a mobster and a corrupt cop working as a mole for the mobster struggle to unmask each other.
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How about…
A cop working as a mole to bring down a mobster and a cop working as a mole for the mobster struggle to unmask each other.
– Aren’t they revealed more by what they’re doing? So you potentially don’t need “good” and “corrupt”.
(Though they do add colour and help paint the picture.)
Yours is better though.?
Just playing around.
That’s a good logline for the film. What do you think was the good cop’s biggest flaw?
thedarkhourse:
My first version was exactly as you suggested.
However, I believe that a logline should be immediately and entirely clear on the first read. An industry reader should not have to read a logline more than once to? understand what the story is about.? Maybe most readers would immediately understand the story concept with the version you suggested.? But just in case, as an insurance policy, I opted to pad my version with two more words for the sake of clarity.? It is certainly arguable that my padding was superfluous.
regards
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