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AlaskaReneePenpusher
Posted: June 30, 20162016-06-30T06:44:12+10:00 2016-06-30T06:44:12+10:00In: SciFi

A grandfather (That dies) and his two granddaughters are stranded on an island for seven years. When the girls finally figure out how to get off the island, they find out the world is not civilized anymore because Sasquatches have taken over the city and possible the world. Please let me know your feedback. Thank you!

A grandfather (That dies) and his two granddaughters are stranded on an island for seven years. When the girls finally figure out how to get off the island, they find out the world is not civilized anymore because Sasquatches have taken over the city and possible the world. Please let me know your feedback. Thank you!
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    1. dpg Singularity
      2016-06-30T07:36:29+10:00Added an answer on June 30, 2016 at 7:36 am

      I find the struggle for the granddaughters to survive for 7 years ?on an isolated island (a la the Tom Hanks character in “Cast Away”) — they do have to struggle, don’t they, it’s not an idyllic vacation? — and then figuring out how to get off the island a more interesting dramatic problem than the contrived and improbable dramatic problem of battling Sasquatches.

      Not to mention, the logline entails 2 separate stories. ?And fails to tell what becomes their objective goal once they do realize Sasquatches are taking over.

      What is this story really, really about? ?Surviving as castaways or battling Sasquatches? ?Pick one. ?And if you want to do the Sasquatches, then for the sake of dramatic tension, it makes more dramatic sense for them to be on the mainland from the git go, from the rise of the Sasquatches.

      Which brings up a product differentiation issue. ?The concept of ?Sasquatches taking over is similar to the “Planet of the Apes” franchise. ?Too similar. ?What makes the rise of the Sasquatches unique, sufficiently different from the “Apes” franchise to which it will inevitably be compared?

      I mean as comedy, a parody of the “Planet of the Apes”, this might work. But if it’s meant to be a serious SciFi drama, I dunno.

      fwiw

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-06-30T14:09:53+10:00Added an answer on June 30, 2016 at 2:09 pm

      Agreed with DPG, the two plots rival each other for dominance over the concept. Best to focus on one in the logline and re draft.

      Why two daughters and why a grandfather? What is the advantage of multiple protagonists over one? That said unless the family dynamic is?a necessity in the plot it will fall very close to Cast Away. The recent film Swiss Army Man differentiated itself from Cast Away by externalising the psychosis that the MC was experiencing, how will you make this concept different to either of these films?

      It look sot me that the concept needs re thinking.

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