A grieving mother uses ancient magic to resurrect her recently deceased daughter despite her own mother?s dire warnings resulting in deadly consequences for those closest to her.
martinreeseLogliner
A grieving mother uses ancient magic to resurrect her recently deceased daughter despite her own mother?s dire warnings resulting in deadly consequences for those closest to her.
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You describe a situation but not a plot. What is the story about? What will the mother actually do? In other words best to redraft this logline with a clear goal for the mother to pursue.
Secondly the description of: “…deadly consequences for those closest to her…” is not specific enough, the consequences need to be understood not just hinted at. Otherwise the stakes aren’t clear and the tension drops.
As Nir Shelter said.
The plot proper begins where this ?logline stops, “resulting in deadly consequences”.? What are the specific deadly?consequences?? What is the dramatic problem the mother must solve as a result of her decision to resurrect her daughter?
I join the previous comments. And you can skip the grandmother warnings, they are a very minor detail in the story.
Although I concur that the wording may be extraneous for the logline, I’m guessing the grandmother’s warnings are central to the plot.? IOW:? they foreshadow the? dramatic problem the?mother is creating by raising her daughter.
That’s intuitively sound and comports with the mythology? paradigm:? every magical gift comes with a hefty price tag,?? with consequences that are?often ?foreseen — and always unheeded.? (Because if they were heeded, there wouldn’t be a story.)
Again, we need to know what the consequences?are of?raising her daughter.? That seems to be what the plot is about.