A group of assassins from around the world race against time in NYC to get to the prize that has the key to stopping bombs that are about to kill them.
LeviathanSamurai
A group of assassins from around the world race against time in NYC to get to the prize that has the key to stopping bombs that are about to kill them.
Share
Just need time and place ?race across 17th century Morocco?, ?London?. Otherwise cool.
Are they competing or cohorts
This story has a strong hook.
As for the logline:
I mentioned this for a different logline: Saying there is? a ticking clock is different than having a ticking clock
You should say, ‘They? have 48 hours to get the prize’ (Or whatever your timeframe is)? instead of just, ‘race against time’
Unfortunately?‘Death Race’ has already been taken as a movie title, that would be perfect lol.
Which assassin are we following? Who is the one we want to get to the key though? I love this concept but I want to have some clue about the character I’m rooting for and why. I think following all of them would be awesome fun to watch but ultimately, we have to care just a little bit more about one of them. We need an emotional conduit.
As Craig said, are they competing or working together?
Agree with Richiev, set the scene a little more. If they’ve got years then this is no where near as exciting as if they’ve got 48 hours.
I kinda feel like we might need to know why these assassins have bombs inside them and who put them there. The situation they’re all in is awesome but ultimately the defeat of the person who put them in that position is the end game. I want a cool showdown after the assassins have outsmarted the system where they confront this guy. Think of Battle Royale or Hunger Games. In both, the heroes figure out a way to outsmart the game – you need this. Obviously, all of this doesn’t have to be in the logline but I wonder if you need to hint at the cause.
Really like this though!
Your logline is a bit difficult to read/ understand at first. You should re-write it. Use the formula: When [a major event happens], [the hero], must [do the main action].
Ex.: When a group of assassins finds out they have bombs placed inside their bodies they will race against time to discover the key that prevents them from exploding…