Penpusher
Posted: 2019-08-24T19:05:29+10:00 In:

A headstrong girl wants to change her sex to claim her inheritance. But the psychiatrist at the ? sex-change clinic claims her heart.

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    6 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Why must she change her sex to get an inheritance?

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    2. Singularity

      Bollywoodbabe:

      Thanks for the clarification.

      It’s an interesting idea, but I see several issues that have to be cleared up.? Like how believable is it that she could claim the inheritance after making the switch given that everyone would know she was born a girl??? And, I presume, would find the very notion of a sex-change operation (for any reason) to be anathema?? Will they recognize her new identity, hence, her claim?? Will the law?? And how believable is it that a psychiatrist would support and sign off on the operation given that she’s doing it for the wrong reason?

      And is the psychiatrist male or female?

      In short:? what is story really about? What is the central dramatic question of the plot?? Is it whether a woman can successfully challenge a legal system and traditional culture by getting the sex change operation?? Or is the central dramatic question:? Can a woman and her psychiatrist overcome the complications of her wanting to undergo a sex change operation and find true love?

      Finally, as you tagged it as a romance, do you intend to write it straight, or for laughs, as a romantic drama, or a romantic comedy?

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    3. Singularity

      Bollywoodbabe,

      Thanks for the offer, but as a matter of practice I prefer to work with refining loglines in this manner.

      >>>doesn?t give the go ahead to the operation once he comes to know her reason for sex change. And that is revealed end of act 2.

      Hah!? That’s a great end of Act 2 moment!

      Okay, so is the audience in on her real motivation from the beginning?? Or do they only find out when the shrink does?

      And again, are you playing this straight or for laughs?? As drama — or comedy?? I gotta say that when I first read your logline, I had a WTF response:? this is crazy!? But the more I ponder your premise, the more I am coming around to the opinion that it would make for some hilarious crazy comedy.

      One suggestion:? The logline should indicate the setting.? Which I guessed was India based upon your avatar name, but I wanted to be sure.? The premise makes absolutely no sense in my country and culture (USA).? And as this site attracts writers from around the globe, it might not make sense to many of them either. But it? would make absolute sense in a country where more traditional norms still prevail.

      Anyway,? here’s? rough draft for a suggested logline as I currently understand the premise:

      Outraged that her foolish brother(s) will inherit all of her father’s estate according to ancient custom, a headstrong Indian girl consults a psychiatrist to undergo a sex change operation so she can claim her share.

      (35 word)

      Best wishes with your project.? This is definitely a film I would want to see.

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    4. Mentor

      You want to write a script with an LGBTQ theme, but you refer to people from the transgender community using the slur “trannies”? Are you sure this is the right theme for you?

      Whatever you write about, treat your subject with respect.

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    5. Singularity

      As I said previously, I am intrigued by the premise.

      But upon further reflection, I have had a reality-check moment.? If traditional patriarchal values prevent her from having a claim to her father’s inheritance as a girl, why would they recognize that she has a legitimate claims after the sex-change operation?? Surely, the sex-change will deeply offend them, violate all their traditional values.? Why would they recognize her as a legit guy when she will still be unable to perform the most important duty required of a male in a patriarchal system:? to wit, sire offspring.? So they won’t recognize, won’t accept her as a genuine guy.

      If anything, the more credible response would be for them to cast her out, reject her as one of the family altogether.

      Just saying.

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    6. Penpusher

      Est? claro el logline y denota una muy interesante historia. Pero personalmente, para no revelar tanta trama, y ser sugestivo e intrigante, yo lo escribir?a as?: “Mientras una aguerrida ni?a heterosexual lucha por cambiar de sexo, la siquiatra de la cl?nica se ensa?a en develar sus motivos”

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