Luna and the Galaxies
IvyEight6Penpusher
A high school student must race against time to stop robots from invading her school.
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I know this is Sci-Fi but getting a Family vibe from your response, anyway, this is what I am leaning towards – took some liberties with your story, please make this your own.
“Bullied for being a misfit a high schooler joins alike students to seek revenge against her tormentors, but when the world’s invaded by robots abducting females, she must join forces to recuse her schoolmates”
I also take you’re a big fan of robots, I swear I was dreaming about robots last night 😊 get out of my head!
Take care.
They’re not abducting females. They’re abducting her town.
CORRECTION (spelling)
“Bullied for being a misfit a high schooler joins alike students to seek revenge against her tormentors, but when the world’s invaded by robots abducting females she must join forces to rescue her schoolmates”
1) In the far too distant future.
2) Her name is Luna. She was bullied. She joins a clique of other girls.
3) She must stop her studies. She sees her town being destroyed.
4) The robots are looking for her tormentor. The girl must thought the robots are might be after her bully.
I’m not sure these really satisfy the questions Odie put forward.
1) We need to understand this world in order to imagine it. I think what Odie was getting at (correct me if I’m wrong) is tell us, in the logline, what MUST we understand about this world to understand the story.
2) Asking who she is isn’t the same as asking her name. Odie was asking what is so special about this girl that we, the audience, will believe that she is capable of stopping a robot invasion. Being bullied does make her qualified and neither does the fact she joins a clique of other girls. Why is she the hero?
3) We need the inciting incident in the logline. That’s what Odie is asking for. His questions are ones which we must get from the logline – not from a further post.
4) I don’t understand this at all. The robots destroyed her town and invade her school in order to get the girl’s bully?????? Based on what you currently have in your logline and all the additional information, this doesn’t add up at all.
Hope this helps.
Tell me why is the X and Y?
Think about the following while sharpening this logline.
1. What kind of world is this story set in?
2. Who is this high school girl? She must have something going for her if SHE is the one to stop a robot invasion.
3. Why NOW must she race against time? What is the leading factor to push this catalyst?
4. What do these robots want from her or the school? What is so special about them as targets?
I or the community can take a crack at this if you add your responses.
Take care.