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NandhiLogliner
Posted: April 24, 20182018-04-24T20:01:21+10:00 2018-04-24T20:01:21+10:00In: Family

A highly-principled, sentient robot must abet a dishonest, wannabe entrepreneur and win over his robot-hating landlady to avoid being recycled.

A highly-principled, sentient robot must abet a dishonest, wannabe entrepreneur and win over his robot-hating landlady to avoid being recycled.
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    6 Reviews

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    1. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2018-04-24T21:03:57+10:00Added an answer on April 24, 2018 at 9:03 pm

      I suggest this needs clarification.? The dramatic problem needs a tighter focus.

      If the robot abets the entrepreneur,? but doesn’t win over the landlady, will he be recycled?? Or if he wins over the landlady but fails to abet the entrepreneur, will he be recycled?? What I see is a logline giving the robot 2 dramatic problems.

      The outcome of which problem ultimately decides the fate of the robot?

      Whichever one it is should the impetus for the objective goal that constitutes the plot described in the logline.? The other one is a complication in a subplot that need not be mentioned in the logline because loglines are only about the primary plot, not subplots.

      Also I think “abet” needs to be made more concrete, more particular.? The dishonesty is an ongoing problem, right?? Well, why must the robot act now?? ?What specific deed must the robot encourage the entrepreneur to do?

      fwiw

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    2. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2018-04-25T04:16:57+10:00Added an answer on April 25, 2018 at 4:16 am

      Who wants to recycle the Robot? Who is the antagonist?

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    3. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2018-04-25T08:13:49+10:00Added an answer on April 25, 2018 at 8:13 am

      “When he angers a maniacal junk reclaimer, a principled robot must help a dishonest entrepreneur sell his pyramid?scheme to raise the money to buy his robot citizenship and avoid the recycle bin.”

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    4. Best Answer
      Richiev Singularity
      2018-04-25T08:26:13+10:00Added an answer on April 25, 2018 at 8:26 am

      Back in the Roman empire, there were Roman citizens, non-citizens, and slaves (More like indentured servants?than the slaves we had here in America)

      Roman citizens had many rights, non-citizens had few rights and slaves had none.
      However, if you had money you could buy your way out of slavery or even purchase your citizenship.

      Perhaps?in the future that could be the way of robots and intelligent?AI’s, they are like the indentured?servants with no rights, however, they could buy their way out of “slavery” and acquire?rights for themselves.

      So; if this robot in your story wants to save himself?he must buy his citizenship in order to be protected by law. However, that takes money which is why he must team with the unscrupulous?entrepreneur.

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    5. Best Answer
      Nandhi Logliner
      2018-05-01T17:36:20+10:00Added an answer on May 1, 2018 at 5:36 pm

      Thanks everyone for your comments. Very helpful. :)? I have honed in on the landlady as the antagonist and amended the logline? as follows:
      ‘An abandoned, experimental sentient-robot must unite a robot-hating grand-mother with her estranged family to avoid being recycled.’

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    6. Best Answer
      Nandhi Logliner
      2018-05-02T07:34:23+10:00Added an answer on May 2, 2018 at 7:34 am

      Here’s my early morning rewrite:
      “A highly-principled, sentient robot is earmarked for recycling, and must unite a robot-hating grandmother with her estranged family, to avoid his doomed fate.”

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