Samurai
Posted: 2017-05-09T16:12:23+10:00 In:

A leaky dinghy and fearful speedboat must leave their quaint country bay to help a spoilt tender find her superyacht mothership before it embarks on a worldwide voyage.

A leaky dinghy and fearful speedboat must leave their quaint country bay to help a spoilt tender find her superyacht mothership before it embarks on a worldwide voyage.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      This version appears to have similar problems to the last one.

      Why must the speedboat help the tender out? What is the motivation?

      What is the inciting incident that pushes the wheels of this story in motion?

      I also strongly suggest changing “…tender…” to ‘dinghy’, or any other vessel that would be more familiar to none seafarers.

      • 0
    2. Uberwriter

      The only way I can see this working is animated. Lord Vader (Disney) rules the animation sector with extremely well thought out stories that appeal to wide audience ranges. You really need every aspect of your story ironed out almost flawlessly to compete. Good luck.

      We have Cars, etc…

      You can call this BOATS 🙂

      • 0