Uberwriter
Posted: 2018-01-31T04:33:18+10:00 In:

a lost military runner must team up with a soldier of the warring nation, after splitting with his navigator, in the forest they now intend to cross resourceless, before the lack of intelligence-he must relay-causes more casualties..

description:
A military courier en-route looses sight of his teammate
he has little food for the two day journey it was supposed to be..
meets the un-uniformed foot soldier lost-without any dog tags-for a week now himself..
the first half of Act 2 could be how they relate to each other as a human element of war
the midpoint reversal could be him discovering his identity as the polyglot-translator of the opposing nation
.
.
The plot puts them facing each other by Act 3, a gun in both the hands
(must they overlook their newfound brotherhood over uniform)
A bullet is fired..Fade Out

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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      Why?

      • 0
    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      As written, the logline seems to say the runner know he’s partnering up with the enemy.? ?Which raises Richiev’s question:? why?
      But then you clarify:

      >>>the midpoint reversal could be him discovering his identity as the polyglot-translator of the opposing nation

      The Big Reveal:? he discovers he has partnered up with his foe.

      So the runner doesn’t know his true identity when he partners up and that’s the way the logline should be written, based on what the runner knows at the time of the inciting incident, not what he is going to discovery at the mid-point.

      But then why would the translator partner up with the runner, someone he knows to be the foe?

      Seems to me the translator has the more interesting dramatic dilemma.? Maybe the story should be written from his pov, with him as the protagonist,

      fwiw

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      Look at the need. ?Lost? & ?separated? have the same impact, you don?t need both.

      A lost soldier must make is way back with vital intelligence when he encounters an enemy soldier who seems willing to help, until they find weapons.

      I can?t see the emotion in this.

      Stuck in no mans land a soldier finds a lost enemy soldier who is willing to help him get home, until they both find guns causing brotherhood to turn to hatred.

      • 0