A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry. When he walks in on his best friend sleeping with her, he then must make a choice to either walk away or get his revenge.
S.C.WillLogliner
A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry. When he walks in on his best friend sleeping with her, he then must make a choice to either walk away or get his revenge.
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This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence “A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry.” can be replaced by the words ‘An engaged man.”
Simplified “An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. ” ?Then you set up the choice he has to make about letting them go or trying to get some kind of revenge on them both.
Since the whole film is him deciding to do something bad to them, it would be good if we had some idea of what that specifically was. ?Sleeping with his best friends girl? ?His Fiancee’s sister?
As Nir Shelter said. ?Loglines are about the plot and the plot is about the action that follows from the decision the protagonist makes, not about the protagonist deciding to decide.
So what does the protagonist decide to do? ?What is the plot? ?What becomes the protagonist’s objective goal as a result of discovering the infidelity?
(And if revenge, why only on his best friend? ?What about her? ?It takes 2 to tango.)
So will he walk away or will he get revenge? ?This is your story, where as the decision to do either one is just one small step or a single scene.
The logline describes a generic love triangle but no plot, what is his goal?
Here is an example of a better structure using the same concept:
After he walks in on his best friend and wife making love a [good description] [main character] must [do something interesting] to achieve [a compelling goal].