Logliner
Posted: 2020-12-14T02:48:12+10:00 In:

A meek middle-aged clerk has to escape a violent interrogation by a determined CIA agent who identifies him as the nation’s number one terrorist menace.

A meek middle-aged clerk has to escape a violent interrogation by a determined CIA agent who identifies him as the nation’s number one terrorist menace.
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    6 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      Cool, but what happens after the mild-mannered clerk lawyer’s up during a bad cop interrogation? This is a great inciting incident, but I am unable to see Act II or III.

      Keep going, take care.

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    2. Penpusher

      From what I understand, the clerk is indeed the terrorist. Is that the story? Just checking, because from this logline I get the feeling that you’re implying that the clerk is indeed the terrorist, but if that were the case, you could have worded it different: “The nation’s number one terrorist menace, hiding as a meek middle-aged clerk, has to escape a violent interrogation by a determined CIA agent”. Or even “Nation’s number one terrorist menace must run after being discovered by a determined CIA agent”.
      If you meant that the clerk is not the terrorist, I would change the verb for another one that implies that there’s been a misunderstanding.
      If you did meant it that way, it’s an okay logline. Maybe influenced by @Odie’s comment, I think the logline implies a shorter course of action than a movie. Is it only about escaping a violent interrogation? Or is it a larger story?
      Also, I would find a way to say “nation’s number one terrorist menace” in less words if possible. Though I think it’s important to state that he’s that dangerous, those are 6 words that could be reduced.

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    3. Logliner

      OK, cool thanks.
      Very helpful insights.

      We envision it as 12 Angry Men meets Saw, so it is a contained thriller-crime, with more twists than what you guys mentioned or thought of. So there are internal and external arcs for both of them that can fuel Acts II and III.

      But here’s the challenge: how to imply twists and a bigger plot without ruining the surprise.

      Also, the interrogation is not in any way legal. No lawyers. No police. In a basement – or so it seems. And extremely violent, like the ones done in every dictatorship around the word or in every US military prison.

      Lastly, a CIA agent in the the ears of a European person (or anyone who’s not a loyal US citizen) is not that good. I would say, many people would think that he could very easily be a bad guy, so there is a different context. Same goes, at a lesser degree, for a terrorist, especially in certain regions (don’t think of fundamentalist Islamists – although that would be an interesting yet extremely challenging character, and a great sell in Arab regions)

      Have you guys seen Guilty, the Danish film?
      I wonder what logline they had in their pitch.

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