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fredozindo
Posted: July 4, 20132013-07-04T16:50:33+10:00 2013-07-04T16:50:33+10:00In: Public

A mystically unnoticeable "Sea cliff" is the catalyst for the place of change. Story one is about an old lady, in all her alternative new age approach, change and moves on from grieving of her husband's death, before spreading his ashes into the ocean from the sea cliff. Story two is about an OCD, analytical & rigid couple, sick of their lifestyle, breaks their habits as for once they decide to go someplace chaotic(sea cliff), as they become intimate in there, later on, the once considered sterile couple are happy about becoming parents.

Sea Cliff

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    7 Reviews

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    1. dpg Singularity
      2013-07-05T01:25:30+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2013 at 1:25 am

      A magical cliff enables a widower to overcome her grief after her husband dies and a sterile couple to bear children.

      It seems more like more a premise for a plot, than a plot. It suggests dual story threads which can work when they are interrelated in theme.

      And what is the unifying theme? In one story thread the natural world sucks because everyone has to die; in the other, it’s a crap shoot that won’t let some couples procreate?

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    2. Hillary Corby
      2013-07-05T02:28:41+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2013 at 2:28 am

      Sorry, but was a bit confused.

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    3. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-07-05T09:44:49+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2013 at 9:44 am

      This is too long to be considered a logline, and I can’t really figure out what the heck is happening.

      Who is your protagonist? An old lady who spreads her dead husband’s ashes into the ocean, or one of the people in the sterile couple who are trying to have kids? dpg is right above in that you CAN work with dual story threads, but that thematic link better be clear.

      At this stage I don’t know what I’d be watching. An old lady spreading ashes in the sea is not even close to enough of a plot to sustain 90 mins of screen time. Is spreading the ashes the goal, or is that the catalyst that starts the story? Who is the antagonist trying to stop her? What is at stake?

      Similar questions for the sterile couple. Getting pregnant is presumably the goal, and their own sterility is the antagonistic force … but how are you going to represent that as a compelling screen story? What do we actually watch these characters do?

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    4. fredozindo
      2013-07-05T18:28:31+10:00Added an answer on July 5, 2013 at 6:28 pm

      I think I may have misguided that as a synopsis :p sorry about the confusion . Basically, the story is about how these unrelated yet parallel characters in ways they are controling and coping with their lives, I couldn’t really figure out how to summarise it into a log since it has multiple stories. United in a location of significance.

      It’s for a short film so it’s not anything long. First story has 1 protagonist and second story has 2 protagonist

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    5. NEGenge
      2013-07-07T05:06:52+10:00Added an answer on July 7, 2013 at 5:06 am

      Hi! Interesting elements here, but, definitely not a logline. 🙂

      If you look at some similar films – full-length, but the same idea – you’ll find things like “Cat’s Eye” and “The Red Violin.”

      The IMDB.com description of each:

      “Stephen King’s Cat’s Eye” – A stray cat is the linking element of three tales of suspense and horror.

      “The Red Violin” – A perfect red-colored violin inspires passion, making its way through three centuries over several owners and countries, eventually ending up at an auction where it may find a new owner.

      Neither of those is a perfect logline, and these types of films are difficult to create loglines for, but, what both do is identify the thing that links the stories, and give an idea, at least. of the type of film to expect.

      Perhaps these could be jumping off points for your logline!

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    6. alexmoreno Penpusher
      2014-09-10T12:01:51+10:00Added an answer on September 10, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      This is not a logline- narrow it down to A protagonist who struggles against odds (people/place/thing) in pursuit of his goal. Cut out the rest- a logline has one purpose: to get someone interested enough to want to read your script. A producer JUDGES your writing on your logline (always think BREVITY & SPECIFICS).

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    7. alexmoreno Penpusher
      2014-09-10T12:01:51+10:00Added an answer on September 10, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      This is not a logline- narrow it down to A protagonist who struggles against odds (people/place/thing) in pursuit of his goal. Cut out the rest- a logline has one purpose: to get someone interested enough to want to read your script. A producer JUDGES your writing on your logline (always think BREVITY & SPECIFICS).

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