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Adam Bernstr?mSamurai
A na?ve teenager takes a job as an interstellar mailman, to move to a paradise planet. On the job, he gets chased by foreign agents and assassins and discovers his paradise isn’t as good as it sounds
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There are a lot of interesting things in the logline, but I am not sure how it all connects.
How does becoming an interstellar (Travelling from planet to planet) mailman (Mail carrier) and moving to a paradise relate?
Also, I don’t see how assassins and foreign agents connect to any of this? Why would they be interested in a simple mail carrier?
Now if the logline was framed something like this:
“When he’s given a mysterious package to deliver, with the promise of citizenship to a paradise planet, an interstellar Mail carrier must outsmart foreign agents an assassins if he is to achieve his dream of living in Utopia”
If this were the logine then we could see how being a mail carrier, achieving his dream of living on a paradise planet and assassins all connect.
Thank you. My idea was that it was partly his naivety that made him think being a mailman would get him what he wanted and that it was a method nobody else had tried.
Your version of the logline captures the story much better than mine, though.
So his want is to be a resident of the planet. I feel you are burying the story in cool stuff.
His job job as a mailman and rite to stay on paradise planet is threatened when a delivery goes wrong and he is chased by assassins and foreign agents who all believe him involved.
It sounds like a juicy sci-fi comedy. Well done! Do consider the previous comments for fixing the story, but I love the “Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” or “Space Quest” feel.