Samurai
Posted: 2013-11-07T14:12:52+10:00 In:

A no-nonsense matriarch helps her estranged husband beat his alcohol addiction and repair their marriage for the sake of her son's sanity, after he invites a homeless boy – who thinks he is Peter Pan – to live with them.

Peter of the Never Never

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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      I find this logline confusing. It’s got marital estrangement, alcoholism, a kid whose sanity is in jeopardy and a homeless kid who is deluded. Which one of these 4 issues is the plot rail on which the story travels?

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    2. I’d also ask who invites the homeless boy into the house? Is it the son or the father? Your logline also appears set up for the mother to be the protagonist, though she seems to have the least to do in the story.

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    3. I’m sensing the “Peter Pan” ends up being the one to solve the issue? Perhaps writing the story from his angle where this boy is drawn in to this dysfunctional family may help you nail the plot a little tighter. As dgp said, you have too much going on with the way it’s written.

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