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mobiuswestPenpusher
Posted: October 14, 20212021-10-14T12:33:08+10:00 2021-10-14T12:33:08+10:00In: Crime

Coerced into losing, a past his prime boxer desperate to redeem his past must regain his boxing license to compete in a final fight of his life for the last, most precious payday, custody of his kidnapped son.

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    2 Reviews

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      [Deleted User]
      2021-10-29T05:23:53+10:00Added an answer on October 29, 2021 at 5:23 am

      “A past his prime boxer…(character)

      ….desperate for one last payday to find and win custody of his son (“Actionable Goal” but not sure why his payday is going to find or win his son back?),

      ….discovers he is the target of a con. (This doesn’t feel like a major event)

      Suggested Example: “A past his prime boxer is coaxed into an underground “fight of his life” competition to win back a precious bounty, his son.”

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      • mobiuswest Penpusher
        2021-11-03T15:45:09+10:00Replied to answer on November 3, 2021 at 3:45 pm

        Thank you for this Benjamin, appreciate the feedback and see very clearly your points, back to the drawing board!

        Jim in Japan

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