A payday loan banker?s estranged mother is kidnapped by a disgruntled customer but, when they refuse to pay the ransom a dangerous game of wits unfolds.
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A payday loan banker?s estranged mother is kidnapped by a disgruntled customer but, when they refuse to pay the ransom a dangerous game of wits unfolds.
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“..dangerous game of wits unfolds” is the story.? Tell me that.
What is the goal of the kidnapper? How is he going to get the guy to pay? What is the obstacles preventing him from being successful in reaching his goals.
When a banker refuses to pay a ransom to save his estranged wife the kidnapper……
Or
What do we know about the kidnapper?
A kidnapper never intending to hurt his victim must find of either a way of releasing the hostage or getting the estranged husband to change his mind and pay the ransom.
Its a great set up, but you are not servicing your story.
Sounds like the plot to “Ruthless People” from the 1980’s.
Regardless, who is the protagonist? Sounds like the person with the real problem is the kidnapper, not the banker. Does the banker even want his mother to be released? Maybe ?if you said that he can’t pay the ransom because he’s going broke or something, that gives us info out his frame of mind.
If the story is about the kidnapper, then what does he do to get the money?
Rutheless People works because Danny DeVito’s character (the husband, who is to pay the ransom) is actually a funny villain, while the audience empathises with the wife and the kidnappers. It wouldn’t have worked if DeVito were the protagonist; how can one refuse to pay ransom for one’s wife? It would take great writing skills to pull that one off.