A post-Christchurch earthquake troubled teenager faces the choice of remaining in her accident-induced coma and the fantasy world she has created, or finding a reason to return to her beloved broken city.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
A post-Christchurch earthquake troubled teenager faces the choice of remaining in her accident-induced coma and the fantasy world she has created, or finding a reason to return to her beloved broken city.
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This logline sets up a situation for a plot– ingredients for Act 1. ?But it doesn’t follow through with a ? plot — the material for Acts 2 & 3.
A plot is about a protagonist who is proactive,? ?In Act 1 she “faces choices”. ?At the end of Act 1, ?she makes a choice that commits her to a course of action, not more wavering, not more indecision. ?She decides and does. ?The action and consequences of that choice — for better or worse– constitute the struggle of Act 2 to be resolved in Act 3.
So given the choices your character faces, what does she actually decide to do at the end of Act 1? ?What becomes her objective goal? ?And ho/what opposes her in her struggle for that goal ?- what is her primary source of conflict?
Agreed with DPG.
I’ll add that the wording needs to change as it is unclear and therefore confusing.
I suggest changing the opening clause to:
In a post-earthquake Christchurch a comatose teen must…