Genre: Horror/Mystery
Feature Length
A psychologist must revisit his childhood fears in order to help a disturbed teen find the truth behind his encounters with a mysterious supernatural being known as "Slender Man."
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I assume that the psychologist is the hero.
But what should we expect to happen in this movie? “Revisit his childhood fears” is not an interesting premise as it doesn’t promise us anything in particular. What does this look like?
“Find the truth behind his encounters”… is a mystery story. We don’t know what genre this is going to be. What is the nature of these encounters? Too many vague notions are piled upon each other, not really giving us an idea of what type of movie to expect.
Why is the psychologist an interesting character? Will he learn anything along the way?
Some of these issues could be resolved if the child is traumatized and the simple purpose is for the psychologist to make the apparitions go away.
“In order to help mentally disturbed student, a (school) psychologist must confront his own personal demons to prevent the mysterious “Slender Man” from taking his next child victim.”
As Karel said, your protag (psychologist) has to have some sort of character arc, so you may want to start him off as timid and not willing to face his own personal fears/repressed memories. When given the ultimate option of coming forth to save another – this time, a teenager – he knows what he has to do to save him. You have the protag, the antag, the goal, the stakes and the genre pretty clealry depicted (as long as it’s NOT a rom/com!). What the story lacks is the real “hook”; what separates this from other movies of the same genre (The Butterfly Effect”, “Mothman” and others)? This is were concept development is so important. On the surface, it mind sound like a cool story to write, and it does. Ultimately, yo’ll want to DO something with it, and without a “hook”, it’s an even harder hill to climb.
Hope this was helpful.
(Geno Scala, “sharkeatingman” – judge)
Thanks for the feedback I really appreciate it! I have a lot of solid input to take back with me to the drawing board now.