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IvyEight6Penpusher
Posted: August 22, 20222022-08-22T10:30:46+10:00 2022-08-22T10:30:46+10:00In: SciFi

A race car driver who comes out of retirement signs up for a televised deadly game show with another driver who hates him.

Race Car Theory

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    4 Reviews

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    1. NavCR Penpusher
      2022-08-22T11:42:15+10:00Added an answer on August 22, 2022 at 11:42 am

      That reminds me of Death Race 🤔. I would like to see that in a movie.

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      • IvyEight6 Penpusher
        2022-08-22T13:20:54+10:00Replied to answer on August 22, 2022 at 1:20 pm

        Okay. What does that mean?

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    2. Lotcher Samurai
      2022-08-23T04:06:07+10:00Added an answer on August 23, 2022 at 4:06 am

      As NavCR implied, this logline is doesn’t do a good job of differentiating itself from existing works of fiction, that being Death Race in this case.

      The protagonist isn’t unique. I could think of a thousand race car drivers that could fit this description. You need to be more descriptive so I have a clear image of who is driving this story, literally. At the very least consider something along the likes of a retired race car driver, or a paraplegic race car driver, or an overconfident race car driver, or hell maybe a horribly lost Uber driver, etc.

      There is no inciting incident mentioned in the logline. Mentioning that one “finds” themselves in a scenario doesn’t describe to me how or why they got there.

      The conflict is almost non-existent in that the concept danger is merely implied with the dystopian archetype of a deadly game show. I need a conflict that is specific to the protagonist with at least an implication as to whom the antagonist is. As of now the antagonist could very well be another driver, the show-runners themselves or even the protagonist him/herself.

      Sorry if this comes off very negatively, I kinda feel rude only being able to put it so bluntly but I hope this helps.

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      • IvyEight6 Penpusher
        2022-08-24T00:49:47+10:00Replied to answer on August 24, 2022 at 12:49 am

        I revised it.

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