Penpusher
Posted: 2016-07-06T05:31:49+10:00 In:

A successful, careless and drug addict DJ falls in love with a female singer who is about to get married with one of club owner where DJ works.

A successful, careless and drug addict DJ falls in love with a female singer who is about to get married with one of club owner where DJ works.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Agreed with the above.

      Also I suggest trimming down the main character descriptions – he’s successful, carless and drug addicted, but which is the most relevant to the story, or more to the point, his journey of learning and change as a character?

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    2. Logliner

      Make sure you have your loglines proofread before letting anyone see them. “…about to get married with one of club owner…” About to get married *to* one of *the* club *owners*?

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    3. Singularity

      And then what happens? ?The logline sets up a 1st Act situation but has no 2nd Act ?plot.

      As a result of falling in love for the singer, ?what becomes the DJ’s objective goal? ?What’s the dramatic problem? ? What difference does it make to the DJ how the relationship complication is resolved — happily or not? ?Or to the audience ? why should they care or be interested in what happens? ?What?s at take?

      You might want to check out the ?Training? option at the top of the web page for guidelines on writing an industry standard guideline.

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