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CaptainMayI19ppLogliner
Posted: May 24, 20172017-05-24T02:07:08+10:00 2017-05-24T02:07:08+10:00In: Thriller

A suspended detective confronts his long-buried past investigating an unsolved murder that forces him to face himself, to his end or a cathartic answer for the murder girl and himself.

A suspended detective confronts his long-buried past investigating an unsolved murder that forces him to face himself, to his end or a cathartic answer for the murder girl and himself.
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    4 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2017-05-24T04:20:32+10:00Added an answer on May 24, 2017 at 4:20 am

      While the suspension sounds like an inciting incident. It does not really correlate to the goal of the unsolved case.

      What event happens that causes the lead character to re-open the long dead case?

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    2. dpg Singularity
      2017-05-24T05:22:36+10:00Added an answer on May 24, 2017 at 5:22 am

      As Richiev said. ?The inciting incident ?needs to answer ?the question, “Why must he investigate this unsolved murder NOW, after all these years?” ?It’s?not clear that the suspension is the inciting incident nor why it is. ?Why didn’t he or couldn’t he pursue it earlier?

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    3. csantan2 Logliner
      2017-05-24T05:26:45+10:00Added an answer on May 24, 2017 at 5:26 am

      He is suspended at the beginning after the opening scene, which shows us something about?his character. During his boredom of the suspension, he is reviewing the old case and realizes something he didn’t think of before…and that’s what pushes the story forward. ?These are my guesses about this one.

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    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2017-05-25T16:26:08+10:00Added an answer on May 25, 2017 at 4:26 pm

      Agreed with the above – the inciting incident is not clear and lacks a strong element of motivation.

      Also, best to stay away from vague descriptions such as “…confronts his long-buried past…” and “…forces him to face himself…” as they lack detail they fail to inform the reader about the plot.

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