A terrifying dream, twisted by a crafty Vizier, drives an ageing king to dispose his new-born grandson heir in the wild mountains. 18 Years later the aged king discovers the Royal Games Gladiator Winners pedigree
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A terrifying dream, twisted by a crafty Vizier, drives an ageing king to dispose his new-born grandson heir in the wild mountains. 18 Years later the aged king discovers the Royal Games Gladiator Winners pedigree
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This doesn’t describe the plot. This whole post is backstory, and then the ending is the inciting incident.
I suggest cutting most of the first part, then using the discovery as the inciting incident, and after that, what becomes the protagonist’s goal? What action do they take to achieve it?
Good setup. But who does what and why? Eg
I think the story hinges on why enter the gladiator comp and what does winning bring.
A newborn prince left to die in the mountains by his aging and tormented father the King, at 18 returns as a gladiator to win the Royal Games and his right to the throne.
This is probably not your story. But this version has some action and motive.
Shades of the myth of Oedipus.
What is the bulk of the ?story, the 2nd Act, about? ?How he survived and thrived after being abandoned? ?Or what happens when he shows up 18 years later?
Is this for a one-time ?feature film, ?to bootup a franchise, or to launch a TV series?
Who’s the lead?
From your logline it seems as if the aging king is the lead character, however in most stories of this nature, it’s the abandoned prince who is the lead character.
If the abandoned prince is the lead not the father you should rewrite the logline from the point of the prince.
If the king is the lead, you should come up with an inciting incident that isn’t 18 years in the past.
Good luck with this, hope that helped.